Monday, January 19, 2009

The Same Ol' Same Ol' New Year's Resolution

Watching the Chevron Houston Marathon yesterday, I was reminded that I had yet to address my New Year's Resolution...from 1999. I was going to one day run a marathon.

During the marathon, the network interjected feel-good stories when the running became too monotonous to watch. (The only thing that kept my attention was the constant scanning through the crowd of runners in search of my boss who was running the half marathon). One story was about a 300+ pound woman who started running two years ago...and ran the marathon on Monday after losing half her body weight. They didn't mention her age but she didn't look that much younger than me. (But of course, I'm stuck in a time warp and still visualize myself at 30 years old).

Speaking of age 30, back then I was single and loving it! I started playing adult soccer right after my 30th birthday. I seemed to have a talent for defensively driving the ball away from our goal. Within a month, I was recruited to play on another team. By the end of the season, I was playing on 3 teams and competing around the state of Texas. In between practices and games, I was at the gym lifting weights to strengthen my legs even further. Needless to say, I was in the best physical condition of my life.

Fast forward two years, while playing in a co-ed game, I went after a ball that was being driven down the field by a very aggressive gentleman. I slid down to kick the ball away and our ankles got tangled up....and snap...literally...went my ankle. My soccer days were finished, and , so it seems was my figure. When you play 3 games a week and have 3 practices a week and go to the gym during all your free time, YOU CAN EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT! Being laid up for several months and told I should never step foot on a field again, my eating habits were the only thing that didn't change in my life. Before I blinked, I had gained 100 lbs. Add to that two kids, a failed marriage and the typical depression that followed, and I have become that same woman I saw in the feel-good story yesterday...sans the ambition to do something about it.

So now, 19 years later, 7 months until my 50th birthday, I started to look at different philosophies to losing weight. I had the lapband done two years ago. But alas, I am not one of those people you will see on Dr. Felix's TV ad as a success story. Dr. Felix told me that I just needed to show a little self control and then the band would work for me. HELLO! If I had self control would I be fat???? Yes, I admit, I thought the band would be my "magic pill". Intellectually, I know there is no magic pill. I know smaller quantities, healthy choices and a work out plan will get me there. I've known that all my life. Knowing it doesn't equate to doing it. Why don't I do it? That's the bazillion million dollar question.

So I started looking around for a new "philosophy" that would set me straight (or flatten my belly or at least lower the number that plagues my scale). I checked out Nutrisystem and found out I'd have to pay $300 for 28 days of food...which I know I would supplement with something from the dairy/frozen food section of the grocery store...hence, that will not work. Once again, I thought about Weight Watchers but find their meetings not very inspiring. I liked going to First Place a few years ago but was mortified when the scale they used did not go up high enough to record my weight.

But what it all really comes down to is this: I've tried it ...if it is out there, I've tried it. All except one it up to God. And why is that the one thing I have never succeeded in doing? Maybe that's the bazillion million dollar question....