Sunday, November 16, 2008

In need of a 12 step program....


If you have a Blackberry or even have a friend or spouse that has a Blackberry, you probably have heard it referred to as a crackberry. Well, it is true…it is a highly addictive device that causes a compulsion that can only be understood by another Blackberry addict.

Two years ago, I took my first vacation that was longer than a few days. I took my kids to NJ for my niece’s wedding. NJ is where I was born and raised so I wanted to spend time showing my kids all the memorable places of my youth. So the plan was to stay for two weeks.

The day before we left, my boss gave me a “present”. You guessed it; it was my first Blackberry. I spent the 3 hours on the plane reading through the manual. My friend, Elena, graciously hosted us in her wonderful house right on a lake in Rockaway. It was an incredible area with a beautiful backyard. But as my kids played or swam in the pool, Elena (a Blackberry veteran) gave me a tutorial on my new gadget. My boss supplied me with plenty of emails to “practice” responses. By time my vacation was over, my skill level had improved from beginner to intermediate. Within a month, I was certified Blackberry guru…and an obsessive, compulsive crackberry addict.

This thing is amazing. I have access to my four most utilized email accounts. Yes, I have even more than 4 but I limited it to my work email (an obvious requirement since my company paid for the Blackberry), my personal email (used by my friends and family), my you-ain’t-finding-out-my-last-name-until-I-know-for-sure-you-are-not-a-psycho dating email, and the ok-you-aren’t-a-psycho-but-I-don’t-know-how-long-I-want-you-in-my life email which also seconds as the you-haven’t-paid-this-bill-reminder email. I also have my two instant messenger services (one for the potential psychos and another for family/friends). Also included on this little gadget are a variety of games, internet access and, of course, my new favorite, my Facebook account.

Through out my life, I have come to realize that I have an addictive personality. Let me be clear: people don’t get addicted to my personality (though I can’t imagine why not since I’m such a wonderful person ; D ) but I get addicted to lots of things very easily. I’ve had my bout with substance abuse and could easily become an alcoholic, but my main addiction was food. Anybody who sees me can verify that I have suffered the consequences of just loving food (and hating exercise…a bad combination). However, that addiction has now been surpassed by my crackberry obsession.

Here are signs that perhaps you have a crackberry problem:

Do you go to bed with it on your nightstand?

Is the first thing you do after turning the alarm off is check for messages?

Do you read messages, send messages, send texts, surf the net, IM your friends, while driving 80 mph down I-10? (ok, there are not many times you can actually drive 80 mph on I-10…maybe it would more accurate to ask if you do this while weaving in and out of traffic on I-10).

Do you turn around and go back home even if you are 20 miles away from home (and only 2 miles from your destination) to retrieve your forgotten Blackberry?

Are you tempted to check messages while sitting in church (though it has been a struggle, I’ve overcome the temptation until the final amen)?

Do you sit in every meeting with your Blackberry on the table so you can easily keep up with your emails while you contribute to the meeting?

And finally, the event that truly did occur tonight which inspired this silly post…do you hyperventilate until you almost pass out when you see your Blackberry get nudged off the desk by your cat, fall onto the floor, and break apart into pieces??? OMG, how am I going to sleep tonight if I can’t get this darn thing to work again??

I think it is time for a 12 step program…..

1 comment:

katdish said...

What's the diagnosis? Did it survive?

Did you hear that soon you will be able to view youtube videos on your blackberry? I know, I know. I'm an enabler.

And if you ever check your email during church, I'm totally calling you out on it. (I check mine during communion when everyone's eyes are closed.) I AM TOTALLY KIDDING! I think I should probably go pray or something now...