Where is my Bobby Ewing???

I told my mother when I was in my early twenties that if I wasn’t married by time I was 35 then I would get myself pregnant one way or another. After she recovered from her fall (caused by passing out after hyperventilating…ok, I feel a tad guilty about that permanent scar on her chin when she nose-dived head first onto the kitchen laminated floor), she assured me that Mr. Wonderful would find me if only I would just let things happen naturally. But what my mother didn’t get because she never looked in the mirror at herself was that I inherited (from her) a nasty habit of wanting to control my own destiny. I had a plan….

I was 22 years old and it was apparent that Mr. Wonderful was nowhere to be found in New Jersey. However, my obsession with that wonderful nighttime soap opera, Dallas, convinced me that Mr. W would be found in Texas. He would be wealthy (like Bobby Ewing), adorable (like Bobby Ewing) and witty (maybe a little more like JR Ewing). He’d live on a big ol’ ranch with tons of land. I’d be able to empty out the SPCA monthly and fill my land with cats and dogs and anything else that might wander within. And, of course, he would be totally committed to ME!

Not exactly how it worked out….

So fast-forward 26 years. I didn’t marry Bobby Ewing. My husband was more like Tim the Tool-man without the paycheck. He thought he was very handy. Now that we’ve been divorced for 5 years, I’ve had to fix almost everything he thought he “fixed” back in the day. Ok, I will admit, my idea of fixing is hiring somebody to do it. But at least I hire somebody who knows how to do it RIGHT! But I’ve lost track of my point….what was my point…? Oh yes, why did I marry him. To our credit, I think we both convinced ourselves that we were in love. In hindsight, for me, it had to do with my biological clock (and the statement I made to my mom). We got married 17 days before my 35th birthday. If my mother hadn’t been suffering from Alzheimer’s by then, she would have been releasing a huge sigh of relief (but still cursing me out for the scar on her chin). But I had done it. I landed a man who would give me a child.

So I got the kids and got rid of the husband. And here I sit still wondering …where is my Bobby Ewing??? I’ve tried a ton of websites. It’s amazing how many creeps are out there. I guess that the older we get, the less good guys are available. Therefore, the ratio of creeps to singles is growing exponentially. I won’t even tell you what one guy did via his web cam after chatting with me for less than 3 minutes. Let’s just say he’s very flexible and he has no secrets….NONE! I was actually laughing so hard at his absurdity, it took me a full minute to close down the window. And don’t be fooled by “Christian dating” websites. I have had some pretty obscene approaches from men on there too. I work in the heart of the gay community so straight, available men are few and far between. Several people have recommended finding someone in church. But my church is just being planted and we are small in number. I absolutely love what we are about and am not about to leave to go to some mega church to find a man.

So what’s a middle aged, single mom to do? I guess it’s time to truly give up control to God and believe that He will put someone in my path in His own good timing. Do you think it would be too much to ask if he looked just a little bit like Bobby Ewing???